I AM WATER

This poem is an ode to my journey of brokenness, strength and deliverance. I was born and raised in a cult where I worked very hard to change myself into someone else's ideal. When I chose to leave, I lost everything--my community, my home, my family and my sense of self. While I was able to rebuild most of these aspects in my life, I struggled for many years to find myself. Surfing gave me a refuge where I could explore who I am. That intense communion with nature through the water taught me determination, confidence, and self-love. It is for this reason that I chose to describe my own metamorphosis through water's most basic journey--the hydrologic cycle. Thank you for listening to my story.

I AM WATER

i am water

poured into a mold

i sit

i freeze

i take the form that was given to me

im shaped by religion and society

i am beautiful but not unique

why must all be shaped identically

this is all i know

all I see

but deep inside i must be free

for i am water

soon my need cannot be controlled.

i must break from my tiny mold.

i'm cast to the street to “save my soul.”

and i melt alone.

formless, unknown.

but the world is not hard as stone,

and much warmer than my former home.

soon i start to separate

and rise at an alarming rate.

i no longer know my fate.

although i'm in a diff’rent state,

i'm still water.

Way up high, I watch, I learn.

Unsure, I am taciturn.

I know the mold that I spurn

And must buck the crowd at every turn.

I learn water can strengthen & nourish.

Without water, nothing can flourish.

Water can break and rage

And sweep up all in its rampage.

As I grow, I'm no longer dormant.

So suddenly, in a torrent,

I fall...

To the ground,

To the rivers.

With a thunderous sound,

Water’s delivered!

And I flow,

And I change.

Not knowing my destination

Isn't strange.

I AM WATER